Burnt Out
by kr3ativ23
Summary: The average tour for an SVU Detective is two years before they get burnt out and crazy. Det. Elliot Stabler has been there for over 14 year is he burnt out? with all the sacrifices he's made putting his life on the line... Is it and Was it worth it all?
1. The Housewife

Burnt Out

Please Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own!

Ch1: The Housewife

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Kathy's POV

These last couple weeks Elliot his been home a lot more at first I thought he was in trouble because he was miserable but he wasn't. And then the strangest thing happened a few days ago and keeps occurring I don't know what to make of it.

We were having family game night, a night that our marriage counselor recommends, Elliot's phone rang and he didn't answer it. In a regular household this probably doesn't seem that big but in the Stabler household this is huge.

Him and I were watching a movie it wasn't anything special it was just time between me and him. Which is a rarity but he looked really disappointed to have to leave he even apologized. He apologizes sometimes but this one just seemed so sincere I almost cried when he left.

When I said he was miserable, he's just miserable before he goes to work and just a little afterwards. I've been starting to think he hates the job. The job he's sacrificed so much for and risks his life for or as he puts it sells a piece of his soul for.

I'm happy he's been home I really have been it's nice to set his plate for dinner and for him to enjoy it with us.

Tonight I'm making his favorite Salisbury steak and potatoes with no veggies he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy he has never been a fan of veggies. I just came back from the grocery store and I have just enough time to bring the groceries inside before the twins come home. I let Eli out and he runs into the yard kicking his ball I would yell for him to come back but he's been a royal pain today.

"Eli come inside. Come help mommy" he runs over taking a small bag. As a mother of five and a housewife of 26 some years you start to develop talents like being able to hold five bags of groceries and being able to unlock the door at the same time.

Afterwards I bring Eli back outside to let him run around I drink some tea and read. He kicks the ball into the road.

"Eli!" I say as Elliot pulls in. "Elliot!" I run to giving him a hug he hasn't been home before the twins in a long time.

"Hey" he said picking up Eli giving me a kiss on the cheek "did I beat the twins?" he says kissing me with a little extra passion. He's wearing a hoodie and jeans not the clothes he left in this morning.

"Yea... Is everything ok?" I asked he smelt like antibacterial soap not a good smell almost like a doctor.

"There was an incident at the station house"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine"

"Can I ask what happened?"

"A rookie didn't search a perp good and he stabbed another person... That's one less perv we gotta worry about" he's so desensitized from all the violence and horrors he sees he doesn't even realize how bad it is anymore. I'm left speechless how do I react to a comment like that. "I didn't mean to bombard you like that... Ah so what did you do today?" he said sitting on the swing hissing a little.

"I just did a little shopping, read part of a book... You know average boring house wife stuff" he smiles and puts an arm around me so I can snuggle against him. Eli comes up and climbs up on Elliot's lap.

"Hi dada" he says and starts babbling on telling a story it's cute. I smile. I look at Elliot his expression isn't the same as mine he looks scared as he looks at Eli as if he was a victim. He shakes his head before playing with Eli.

"Are you alright?"

"...yea... Yea" he said pulling Eli close "I'm going to put him down for a nap"

About fifteen minutes late I peek in the room and I see Elliot just watching Eli sleep.

"Elliot he's fine"

"I know... I know" the door bell rings and Elliot's head turn like a hawk.

"Relax... It's Tina" I kiss him on the cheek he's a little shook up to say the least.

"How is everything?" Tina asked in a thick New York accent.

"Good"

"Why are you so giddy?"

"Elliot came home early" I said blushing.

"So a little afternoon delight?" Tina said raising an eyebrow.

"No. He just came home maybe twenty minutes ago"

"Hey never question the skills of an aged married couple"

"Aged?"

"Yea! Who stays married for 25 years? What are you the Brady's?" she said laughing.

"It's been 26 years and we are definitely not the Brady's"

"You're right I don't think the Brady's were religious" Tina and I start laughing. "Why is he home?"

"There was an incident at the station. Someone got stabbed"

"What?"

"Rookie missed it" I say Tina's husband is a captain in a robbery unit in queens.

"Travis was telling me that they are getting greener each day" it's a scaring thing to think about. "But anyway... How is everything?"

"It's good" last time I talked to Tina I told her I was worried about Elliot.

"Hey Tina" Elliot says sitting next to me.

"Hello Elliot how are you?"

"You know gotta take it a day at a time"

"I hear that. Well, I'll see you love birds tomorrow" Tina said Elliot and I said goodbye in unison.

Elliot puts his arm around me and releases a deep breath. I rub his stomach.

"What is on your mind, El?"

"Nothing just thinking about today" since Elliot and I have reconciled we went to a marriage counselor and we learned how to work with each other without going crazy.

The counselor suggested we step up our own date night for us and game night with the family. Wednesday nights, it's strange having a date night in the middle of the week but it was the best weekends always seemed busy for Elliot. So far we gone out to eat, seen plays and movies.

I don't nag him about the horrors he sees in a work day. In fact when we were separated I went on a few dates and the men just unloaded there life stories and I didn't like that. It was certainly different and not a good different. I love my Elliot, the man who is a great father, great man, and wonderful husband even if he bottles everything inside because he's scared to tell me and think I'll runaway. I reassure him all the time that it won't happen ever and he opens up a little bit every now and then.

That night... I like being able to fall asleep in my husband arms however I know when I wake up he will be leaving or already gone.

I feel him leave the bed I look at the clock 3:34am he is doing a patrol checking on the kids watching them sleep. I didn't hear his phone ring so he's not leaving or not yet at least.

I drift back off to sleep but wake up shortly later he is sitting on the end of the bed. His mind is racing. I put my arm around him and lightly kiss his neck. I look over his shoulder and see a packet and a brochure in his hand I can't see what it says though.

"I didn't wake you did I?" he whispers kissing my cheek.

"No... What do you have?" he moves and hands it to me I rest against his strong body as he rests his head on my shoulder. In big letters on the brochure it says _'retirement and your pension'_

"How would you like it if I was home more?" he says quietly looking directly in my eyes. His phone rings he looks at it and then back at me.

"I would love it... But is this what you want?"

"I don't know... I think so..."

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Reviews Please. Is this something Elliot really wants to do or is he being pressured into it?


	2. Testing

Burnt Out

Disclaimer: Don't own them

Reviews please.

Chapter 2: Testing

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Kathy's POV

I haven't heard from Elliot since he left this morning he tries to call me some days when he gets in usually it's because nothing is going on and other times he doesn't because he's upset over the case. I'm a little bored right now, the twins left for school and Eli is napping. Usually I'll call over Tina but not now I have too much to think about. Elliot gave me the brochure and told me to think about it. He's thought about retiring before but never got the paperwork for it he's serious at least for right now.

With his track record he probably won't get promoted anymore however he is a great detective his temper just gets the best of him sometimes and I don't see the case load getting easier. If anything I think it's gotten worst the amount is more and the matter of then has gotten worst.

One night Olivia dropped Elliot off home. He was drunk beyond drunk and he was upset it is a lethal combination when it comes to Elliot.

I remember only because Elliot had finally opened up to me, and I realized why after all those years he never spoke to me about the cases. They're… those people are just terrible, the cases are beyond horrific.

He fell onto our couch.

"El, honey what is wrong?"

"A father put his 9 month old son in the microwave so he would be quiet so he could rape his 13 year old step daughter… the mother called 911 when she came home" he said totally emotionless never breaking eye contact with me until I looked away trying not to cry. "It was the mother's first day back to work" I didn't know what to say to him so I just hugged him and kissed his forehead. He broke down in my arms and we both fell asleep on the couch. We awoke the next morning to his cell phone he kissed me on the forehead and left for work without changing his clothes or even eating.

Over the years my dislike for his ob changed into hatred of his cell phone. He was always on his blasted phone about a case or going to a case. His phone would ring and he would leave shortly later it was an awful feeling, when Dickie was younger he said it was like Elliot was a super hero and his phone call was his sign and then Liz would try to hide his phone to make him stay home longer. That was the only thing the reconciliation did not change.

One promise Elliot did make to me was that I wouldn't have to watch the news to find out what he was doing and that I found great relief in, I hate turning on the TV and seeing Elliot pushing a camera guy. He tells me now if the media is all over a case he's working. However I still take extra precaution when I watch the news.

Today however I turn to the news and watch the weather what a surprise more snow… that is the only thing I hate about this state. One day its sunny the next day we are expected to get 2 feet of snow well Dickie and Liz will be happy another snow day.

Retirement… Elliot has been gone for so many years I don't even know what it would be like if he was home more it would certainly be different I think a good different. We would be together more Eli would know who his father is and grow up with him and his life and just not someone who comes and goes at the ring of a phone.

"In breaking news… we are bringing you live to a high speed chase. Earl Jenkins is a suspect wanted in questioning for the several rapes" the news anchor said I immediately turn all my attention to the television.

"Oh Elliot" I reach for the phone but I do not call him.

"John Smith is live with the chase what can you tell us about the chase John"

"Good afternoon Eileen. Special Victims' Unit detective attempted to arrest Mr. Jenkins with his involvement in the sexual assault of three women. The high speed chase has been for 15 minutes and counting. Police has been clearing out the road ahead. The vehicle has come to a stop" the view is too far away to make out the car I do see to plain clothes detectives moving in one looks like Olivia so the other has to be Elliot.

"oh thank god" I sigh releasing the deep breath I do not know how many more close calls I can get before I lose my sanity. Damn! The car revs its engine and turns backwards and hits the one I think is Elliot. I scream. I have never seen anything like that. I hear pops from the TV and the car stops and there lies my husband on the pavement… I don't see blood. I call his phone and nothing I call his phone again and again still nothing.

I hear someone knocking at my door I look and it's Tina. I know I look like a mess but I need to get t the hospital and find Elliot.

"Kathy breathe"

"I got to go to the hospital"

"Go. I'll watch Eli. Call me when you get there" Tina said

I try to call Elliot again and again and again and finally I get an answer.

"Hello?" that's not Elliot he always answers Stabler or hey babe it depends if he checks the caller ID.

"Olivia?"

"Kathy?"

"What happened to Elliot?"

"He was hit by a car he's alright we are on our way to the hospital"

"I'll see you there"

* * *

I run into the hospital I see Elliot sitting up in a gurney he's awake and looks relatively ok besides the bruise on his forehead and the brace on his left leg.

"Elliot" I say he smiles to me.

"Hey babe" he takes my hand "what are you doing here?" he says a slight more worried.

"You're at the hospital" he's so clueless and stubborn sometimes.

"I know but I'm fine… the car wasn't going that fast i'll be okay where's Eli?"

"Tina is watching him" I sit next to him and he hugs me. "thank god you're alright" I realize I'm crying the fright of losing Elliot after the thought that he would be mine again just scared me.

"I'm fine" he said wiping the tears out of my face. I hold his hand and he brushes the hair out of my face and I try to smile. "I'm fine I promise"

"What about the next time? El I can't keep doing this" I cry he hugs me again "I don't know how many more close calls you and I can take"

"Are you leaving?"

"No… Elliot you scared me today. I don't want to be scared like that again... I can't"

"I know and you won't be" he pulls me into a loving hug and kisses my forehead.

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Reviews? If you were Elliot what would you do? If you were Kathy what would you want Elliot to do? Please Tell Me.


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